QPR 2 Hull City 1

If you are prone to bouts of depression then I advise not reading this report. Instead, here are some images of kittens to while away the time. If you are into self-flagellation then you might want to know more.

Walking back to Shepherds Bush station, weaving through the blue and white hooped hordes and dodging the many deposits left by nervous police horses I reflected on the match. Had I seen more crap on the road (the horse dung, not the QPR supporters) or on the pitch? Probably the latter.

This is my first taste of the 2017/18 vintage Hull City. I don’t think it’s going to be one that goes down in history.

Lining up on a warm summer afternoon and not doing the business for The Tigers were:












The first – and very observation – is that Clucas wasn’t on the pitch and nor was he on the bench. A fairly obvious giveaway that we have seen the last of him in black and amber. Wherever he ends up, well done young man. His development over the last couple of years has been great to watch and one in the eye for the naysayers who liked to call him “Clueless”.

We kick-off with the sun behind the team, and the City supporters who have made the trip. It’s almost ten seconds before the first anti-Allam chants are raised. It’s an even game. QPR are poor and can hardly string a couple of passes together, but we are competing with them to see who can be worse. Nine minutes into his first start, Kevin Stewart went down with an injury following a routine clearance. It looks like it could be a recurrence of the ankle problems that suffered last season which is worrying. He was replaced by Diomande, the latter going up front with Campbell playing a deeper role.

We are well into the half before the first chances arrive. We have had marginally better of the early exchanges but about twenty minutes in the home team – and their supporters – wake up. The chances go begging and neither goalkeeper has been troubled at this stage. A promising break is lead by Grosicki but the end result encapsulates his career to date, promise followed by poor execution. The first call to action for either keeper results from a Campbell shot after he manages to wiggle free.

After half an hour a trip right on the edge of our area gives the Rs free kick in a dangerous position. An elaborate manouveur with several players running in random directions seems to confuse the home team more than it does us. The first attempt is aborted as a couple of City players have encroached, the second results in a daisy cutter that is easily repelled by the wall. We are still under pressure however and smart defending from Hector and Dawson is needed more than once to keep them at bay.

And then we score. A free kick on the left is played across to the right. It looks like we have messed around too much and the opportunity will dissipate but finally Meyler gets his cross over. It evades the players in the middle and reaches Bowen. He fends off a defender and slots in a low shot. Bowen was one of the few to rise above the morass of mediocrity in the game. The goal actually manages to stop the “Allam Out” medley for a few minutes.

There are still ten minutes left in the half but that’s about it until the break. 1-0 up just about reflects the play but it has mostly been meagre fare on offer.

Slutsky makes a change at half time with Mazuch replacing Campbell. We learn later that the latter had taken a slight knock but it’s a negative move and reduces our attacking threat. It’s also a reflection of the inexperience on the bench: of the seven selected, only Diomande had played more than three games for City. There is almost a complete lack of action in the first quarter of an hour. There are players out there, there is effort, there is no quality and no end product. On the hour mark we win a corner after an incursion by Aina up the right flank but the resulting header from Mazuch is straight at Smithies in the Rangers’ goal.

Diamonde does produce a bit of quality with take down and turn but then negates the good work when the attempted through pass is too heavy and straight to the keeper. By this time Holloway has brought on Matt Smith for the ineffective Lua Lua (it could have been anyone, they were all just as ineffective). This does regenerate the home team. Smith’s physicality is the sonic screwdriver that unlocks the home defence. First he heads straight at McGregor and then just wide but it looks like an equalizer is on the cards for the home team. The traffic is now mostly one way, but there is a respite when first Diomande and then Bowen are brought down. It looks like an opportunity for dead ball specialist Larsson but Grosicki lashes it high, wide and not handsome.

And then the inevitable equalizer arrives. A corner is partially cleared, Freeman returns the ball into the box and the inevitable Matt Smith nods in a close range header with no discernible challenge from a City defender. It’s almost immediately doubled as Sylla (another substitute) hits the post and the resulting rebound off the diving McGregor squirms to safety. QPR are definitely on the ascendency and looking more likely. McGregor is booked for time wasting which sums up our lack of ambition at this point. Therefore it’s something of a surprise when almost snatch a winner. Grosicki threads a through ball that Larsson latches on to. His shot lacks power however and Smithies is able to stick out a foot and direct it away.

The 4th official has just announced seven minutes of added time (there were a couple of injuries to add on to McGregor’s shenanigans) when QPR get what proved to be the winner. I’ll need to see this again to comprehend the comedy defending that lead to Sylla being free to tap in from a couple of feet out from goal. It hard to say who exactly was culpable at that distance so I’ll blame all of the defence. Sylla gets a yellow for excessive celebration (i.e., ripping his shirt off to reveal a very fetching sports bra).

There is still time for an equalizer and we nearly get one. In final flurry, first Hector and then Mazuch have attempts cleared off the line and a couple of of other efforts were sent wide. Finally, after 90+ minutes there is some effort and intent but it’s way too late to make a difference. If only we had shown such intent earlier in the game. QPR were a poor team, there for the taking. It just so happens we were poorer.

As I write this, I see in the morning papers that Clucas’s departure has been confirmed. With the other transfers and injuries we have a threadbare squad. Reinforcements are definitely required if we are not to emulate Wolves and pass straight through this league on our downward spiral.

Queens Park Rangers 2 Hull City 2

City take a two goal lead in the squad before squandering the advantage and losing keeper Myhill to a dubious handball decision. Decent point off QPR though.

At around 5.45 p.m. yesterday, I alighted from the Central Line train that had borne me away from Loftus Road yesterday onto the platform at Kings Cross to find myself suddenly and unexpectedly in the company of the leading luminaries of two of our celebrated fanzines. I opined to one of them that we would have settled for that result at 3 p.m., to which the other replied “Yeah, but would you have settled for it at quarter past four?

And that sums it up more succinctly than I ever could.

Yesterday started off with all the trappings of Groundhog Day. A damp, chilly November day and a trainful of loud, John Smiths-swilling, socially-dysfunctional buffoons off to watch the raggah at Twickaahsh irritating everyone with their gauche attempts at bonhomie, coupled with City’s recent form and the prospect of another tricky (but, really, aren’t they all in this League?) fixture, all combined to put me back where I had been seven days earlier, with every prospect of a similar mood to the previous week on the train home as well. And that’s before we get onto the predictable gaggle of shit-kickers shuffling up to their grubby keyboards to type out an orthographically-and grammatically deficient assertion that the manager has “lost the plot”, which seems to have replaced “speculate to accumulate” as the sound bite of choice among such people.

But as we all know, City always manage to wrong-foot you when you least expect it, and whilst by all accounts it was an undistinguished showing against the Saints on Tuesday, something, whether it be bringing an end to the losing streak or managing to deny victory in both games to a side playing Premiership football last season, seemed to have had a positive effect on the players’ spirit. The result was that, whilst it was not exactly a showing to have Steve Coppell wondering if he’s got a sufficient cushion over us, and whilst certain players still fail to convince the faithful that they are safe to be let on the pitch in a City shirt at this level, the Tigers played with some real purpose yesterday against a team whose recent form has been as bad as ours (normally a chillingly-ominous sign, usually, as those who went to Deepdale will testify) to the point where we led 2-0 a few minutes into the second half and had the oppo in a state of no little disarray. Sadly, we reverted to type and duly handed the Hoops their get out of gaol card with some woefully slack marking at a corner (again), and whilst the increasingly inevitable-looking equaliser had a large slice of good fortune about it, we have to remember that the Queens did clip the outside of the woodwork twice. That said, whilst many City sides would have collapsed at that juncture, we actually did the right thing and responded with spirit, with not even the unfortunate dismissal of Boaz thirteen minutes from the end causing us to crack, and whilst our hosts had more the ball we had our chances too and more than contribute to what was an absorbing contest.

In short, a display with a good few positives, but in which we yet again paid the price for not shutting up shop as effectively as we can. We won’t go down playing like that, but it will be a hairy ride unless we tighten up.

Carrying the Tiger standard onto the Loftus Road sward were the following:

Lynch Cort Collins Delaney
France Welsh Woodhouse Barmby
Paynter Fagan

After the trudge through the massed riot-attired ranks of the Met (presumably to some extent as a safeguard against the animosity which certain organs of the media were apparently doing their best to whip up yesterday morning following the shenanigans at the Circle on the opening day of the season) had been negotiated without incident, the inevitable tribute to George Best, and full marks to whoever decided to follow the lead trumpeted by Celtic and eschew the usual minute’s silence in favour of a much more dignified minute’s applause in remembrance of the gifted but feckless Ulsterman, in which everyone seemed to participate enthusiastically.

After that the game started with the temperature palpably dropping and City playing away from the 1 000 plus (I would guess) faithful shoehorned into the upper tier of the School End. It was pretty formless stuff in the early stages, although Furlong tested Myhill three minutes in, and Paynter might have done better on 7 when a clever back-heel (not sure from whom) set up the ex-Valiant, whose left foot effort ought to have troubled Royce in the QPR goal more than it did. The next City chance came on 23 and again fell to our newest recruit, who this time was in a somewhat wider position on the right but again forced Royce into the save. A bit of a scramble ensued, followed by a corner form which Cort headed just wide.

There wasn’t a great deal to report for a while after that, with both sides working hard canceling each other out pretty effectively. We did, sadly, see more of the rough stuff which Rangers had dished out on the opening day, less of which should have gone unpunished than actually did (one of the things to come out of yesterday was that we did not to my mind get a totally fair deal from the officials) the booking of the Rangers No 20 on the quarter hour notwithstanding. The home side had their generally not-very-threatening moments, not least when Lynch made a fine block just after the half hour to deny one of theirs, but it’s probably fair to say that both sides were a bit wanting in the penetration stakes.

Either side could have broken the deadlock (not that that looked hugely likely) but when it was broken it was us. We had forced a corner on 41 which came to nought, but seconds later the ball was worked out to Fagan wide out on the left, who delivered a deep cross towards the far post, which France, timing his run to perfection, ghosted onto with not a hooped marker in sight and headed powerfully just inside the far post. Precisely the sort of goal which, from the other wing, our Stu might have scored in the days when he did such things, and a goal pretty much out of character with the way in which both sides had denied each other much in the way of scoring chances. But we celebrated it nonetheless, and how.

The remainder of the half was safely negotiated, and the start of the next delayed because, according to the PA man, one of the linesmen had “put his back out”. At least I think that’s what he said, which seems a bit too much information if it was; clearly any constipated referee or visiting manager desirous of applying Dettol to his chalfonts at half time had better beware at Loftus Road.

Barely had the second period begun its belated course than, almost incredibly, we doubled our lead. This time Lynch was the provider. As the raking cross soared away from the City right-back’s boot in the general direction of the City support it was one of those almost-sensual moments that make you just want to hug yourself with unbridled delight; oh yes, the unmistakable sight of an imminent net-rustling, this time as Paynter, again with more room than he ought to have had, ghosted away from the cover and, with the Tiger nation on its feet in glorious anticipation, guided his header past the diving Royce’s left hand and open his City account in the process. Deep joy, as Professor Stanley Unwin might well have said.

And that looked for a while as though it would be it. Rangers tore straight down to the other end, but there seemed a raggedness, a desperation, a disarray even about it all. Surely if we could keep them out for twenty minutes an unexpected but deserved victory would be ours? No doubt, but within five minutes of going two up the Hoops had one back in a fashion which has cost us before this season, as Ainsworth, who incidentally plays in a band, the programme told us (which immediately made me ponder over which City players might have a musical bent – Leapy Leeon Cort, anyone, or how about Fagan doing a rendition of “You’ve got to pick a pocket or two” ? OK, I’ll get me coat) rose totally unchallenged to meet a corner, in every bit as irritating a manner as Watford had managed at the Circle.

To be fair, there were no more howlers of that nature, but the damage had been done and the seeds of denial of victory had been well and truly sown. However, this was put to the back of Tiger minds when France embarked on a glorious diagonal run on 57 and, when he got into space, chipped the advancing Royce exquisitely, only for a covering defender to head the ball clear of the gaping onion bag.

It still looked as though it could be our game, though, as we pleasingly continued to plug away with purpose, but the seeds we had sown ten minutes earlier were well and truly reaped, as Ainsworth again struck, his speculative shot from 20 yards seeming to take a wicked deflection before it looped over the unfortunate but blameless Myhill.

On occasions in the past for too numerous to mention, the summary loss of a two-goal lead away from home would have resulted in capitulation so stark as to appear deliberate, but on this occasion it was not to be; whether this was due to a change in the manager’s normal instructions, or the players for once following the same instructions he issues every week, is a matter for conjecture, but our heroes clearly still had the whiff of blue-and-white hooped blood in their nostrils and still seemed very much up for it. It’s fair to say, though, that so were the home side, as first Delaney cleared a Myhill fuble on 70 and then three minutes later the City keeper was beaten as some neat interplay from QPR resulted in a shot clipping the outside of the post. A minute on, though, and Cort headed just wide from a corner; it really was wonderfully absorbing stuff at this stage.

But then came what would surely be the hammer blow. Myhill came to the edge of the box to gather a through ball and clearly misjudged things, turning as he caught the ball so as to be sure go to ground on the correct side of the line. But the West London faithful howled in protest, and the linesman’s flag was duly held aloft. An agonising wait then ensued as first there was an unseemly mêlée as the Rangers players tried to wrestle the ball from Boaz in order to take a quick free kick, and then the ref held a lengthy conflab with the linesman, which culminated in the red card being brandished. Correct decision? From our vantage point at the other end it was hard to tell, but if, and only if, Boaz did indeed handle the leather outside the box then – even if was a case of simple misjudgement as opposed to an attempt at foul play – then he had to go: simple as that.

Tiger mouths were dry as the hitherto-unconvincing Matt Duke strode confidently into the fray and Paynter – who at least looks as though he knows how to get into scoring positions, although apparently needs time to adapt to this level, was pulled off in his stead. Ten men, two-goal lead blown, dodgy keeper, we’re going to lose, aren’t we? Er, actually, not a bit of it. And not only that, the ex-Brewer (rated, incidentally by Burton fans I have spoken to about him) acquitted himself quite acceptably. OK, so his first touch of the ball was nearly to retrieve it from the poke as the free-kick resulting from Myhill’s handball clipped the outside of the right-hand post, and OK so his kicking technique is a bit unconvincing (rather like David Mellor in that cringeworthy Football Task Force photo-shoot with Tony Banks, he punts the ball in a manner of someone who has not only played the game before but also has never actually watched anybody else doing it), but for my money he did little to cause me to reach for the Valium in contemplation of Boaz’s suspension, coming in to a finely-balanced game at a tense moment, dealing confidently with crosses and diving low to make one vital save as the clock ticked round to 90 mins. The three minutes’ injury time passed without incident, the corner we managed to force at the death coming to nought. And still the constabulary were outside in huge numbers in their riot gear.

So, definitely a good game for the neutrals, as a game that spent the first 40 minutes of its life screaming nil-nil at the top of its voice coming to life in with plenty of incident in an entertaining second period. Sure, the end result was desperately disappointing given the commanding position were were in early in the second half, and the continued leaking of silly goals is worrying, but we did play with genuine character (which we have not generally been doing consistently for a few games now) and for me that was the most encouraging part of the day, especially with a December coming up which really needs to see us garner an eminently-achievable seven or eight points at least if we are to pull towards the top of that gaggle of clubs around the twenty-point mark and give ourselves a bit of breathing space.

One final thing. Did anyone notice that Taylor has been sacked and gone to Stoke? If you don’t believe me, check out the preview in the programme of the QPR-Stoke game. Looks also as if Stoke have had points deducted, no doubt for having moronic directors.

HULL CITY (4-4-2): Myhill; Lynch, Cort, Collins, Delaney; France, Welsh, Woodhouse, Barmby; Paynter, Fagan. Subs: Elliott (for Barmby, 62), Duke (for Paynter, 77), Green, Stockdale, Fry.

Goals: France 40; Paynter 50

Booked: None

Sent Off: Myhill


QUEENS PARK RANGERS: Royce, Bignot, Evatt, Santos, Milanese, Ainsworth, Rowlands, Langley, Dyer, Gallen, Furlong. Subs: Cook (for Santos, 45), Moore (for Gallen, 48), Cole, Bean, Baidoo.

Goals: Ainsworth 56, 66

Booked: Dyer, Furlong

Sent Off: None


REFEREE: P Crossley